As women, we've heard a lot of pick-up lines and some of them are REALLY, REALLY bad. I've put some of them here but there are tons more out there so I'm counting on you to send them in. What idiotic things have men said to you thinking that you'd be impressed and want to go out with and/or sleep with them?

As this page grows, it's harder and harder to remember which ones are already here so if you see a line that is used twice, please let me know. The ones with multiple names mean that I received them all before that line was posted. If a line is already up and you send it in, you won't be added. But, if five people send in the same line before it appears on the site, you will share credit.

September 22, 2003: Tons of pick-up lines added as well as a new section for Snappy Comebacks to Pathetic Pick-up Lines! They are at the bottom of this page for the moment but soon will have their very own page so keep sending them in!

**Special thanks to Jen & Becky, who volunteered their time and effort to help get this page updated!**

* That dress would look great on my floor.

* I've got a 6 inch tongue and know how to use it.

* Do you come here often?

* Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

* Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

* Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

* Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?

* I have an 8 inch dick. (Inches may vary)

* The word for the night is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

* Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

* I have only three months to live.

* If I followed you home, would you keep me?

* Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

* So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!

* What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

* What's your sign?

* Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

* Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

* You are the only reason why I came in here alone.

* If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

* Is that Windex you're wearing? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

* Since we shouldn't waste in this day and age, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

* <licks your shoulder> Let's get you out of those wet clothes.

* Where have you been all my life?

* Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

* I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.

* You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

* Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

* Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?

* I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

* Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

* I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

* What fucks like a tiger and winks? <winks>

* Your place or mine?

* Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?

* You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

* I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy?

* You will go home with me tonight.

* Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?

* Can I see your tan lines?

* Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

* You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

* All those curves, and me with no brakes.

* You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

* Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?

* Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

* I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

* Is it hot in here or is it just you?

* You are the reason men fall in love.

* Who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?

* Can I have a picture? I want Santa Claus to know exactly what to get me for Christmas.

* You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

* Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

* Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

* Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

* I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

* There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

* Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

* I've been a bad boy,so spank me!

* Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?

* I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

* So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

* (Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?

* You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

* I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

* Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

* Be unique and different, say yes.

* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

* Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

* Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

* Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?

* I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

* Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.

* Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

* Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

* So you have a man? How long have you had that problem? (From Pearson)

* Are your parents terrorists? Cause you're the bomb! (From Justyne B)

* I know milk does a body good, But DAMN how much have you been drinking? (From Johnsons)

* Look at my butt and get some kicks and we'll be playing like the New york Knicks. (From Jillian)

* Good thing I brought my library card, cuz I'm checking you out. (From Heather)

* Is it hot in here, or just you? (From Dani)

* Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (From Catie; Ashley W; Mary Beth G; Misty D; Princessdlz; Jacqui W; Liloink; Bluestarchic; Kirsty S; Shannon H; Cheryl T; LadyTitan; Maggie G; Cindy; Karisma)

* Are those astronaut pants you're wearing? 'Cuz your ass is out of this world. (From Brianne; Misty D; Joanna; XillestShortii; Lisa T; XokAnDiEkIdoX; AktjMiller)

* Can I...put it in? (From Anna)

* I masturbate to pictures of you. (From Anna)

* I want to hook up with someone I know well...I really know you well." (We had spend a total of 5 hrs together). (From Anna)

* You look gooooooooood. (From Anna)

* Will you hook up with me? (From Anna)

* My watch tells me your not wearing any panties. (Woman: "But I am.") Oh, oops, my watch must be an hour fast. (From Ashley W)

* If your left leg was Easter/Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas could I come and spend time between the holidays? (From Ashley W; Misty D)

* Lets play army/war... you get on your knees and blow the hell out of me. (From Ashley W; Casperseal; Janis F)

* Nice legs! What Time do they Open? (From Ashley F; Danielle B)

* You remind me of a speeding/parking ticket because you have fine written all over you. (From Mary Beth G; Kitten; Dee J; Jaime L; Ethna F)

* You wanna come back to my place and watch sportscenter? (From Mary Beth G)

* What are you doing at 2:00? (From Mary Beth G)

* I've lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? (From Mallory J; Kristen C; Thoacarter)

* Hey I'm no Fred Flinstone but I could sure make your bed-rock! (From Kitten; David T; DeutschDragn)

* Wanna get some pizza and fuck?......What? You don't like pizza? (From Sweet Val; Bessie; CuteLilBlonde)

* Asians float my boat. (From dondelbuse)

* Was your father a meat burglar...'cuz it looks like someone stuffed 2 fine hams down the back of your dress/pants. (From Andreroi)

* Hello Miss, your shoes are untied. Can I tie them for you? (From Lisa S)

* That shirt looks very becoming on you. Well...if I was on you, I guess I'd be coming too. (From Alicia K; Medhutanya; Ellacord; Julie)

* Wanna go back to my place and play house? You can be the kitchen/screen door and I'll bang you all night long. (From Stacey; M. Terminesi)

* Roses are red. Violets are green. I want your legs...And the bit in-between! (Natalie W)

* I'm Italian, your're Italian. What do you say we go and make spaghetti and meatballs? (From Urbanbbb)

* Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven? (Rebecca O-M)

* Nice shoes...wanna fuck/screw? (From Lupinscrush; Poetgrl; Deborah; Andrew K; Jennifer G; Michelle; Kristen C; EvlGoddess)

* How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? (From TheTheaterIsMine; Bessie)

* You're so hot, I'm surprised you didn't die of a fever. (From Jeanette)

* (A guy followed my roommate across our quad at college.) Have you ever had a guy follow you across the quad because he liked your smile? (From Shannan L)

* How would you like to suck on something a little bigger? (From Shannan L)

* You are the chocalate to my milk, got milk? (From LAOGCHULA)

* As I was walking through the mall, a man approached me and asked if I believed in God. I replied "yes" and he asked where my wings were. Cause I was an angel (From Jennesa)

* How do u like your eggs in the morning? (From Sweeterin)

* Oh my God! Where are your wings? (What wings?) I know an angel when I see one. (From AndyFromTheBlock)

* Is that a keg in your back pocket? Because I would sure like to tap that ass! (From Greg P; LisaT; Vicki H)

* Feel my heart, it skipped a beat when i saw you. (From Jessie Robles)

* I'm sorry. I cant go away, I'm stupefied by your beauty (From Jessie Robles)

* If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. (From Keri L)

* Lets go back to your place and do some math, add a bed, substract the clothes, divide the legs and I will multiply. (From Megan H)

* Let's play carpenter, we will get you hammered and then I'll nail ya. (From Megan H)

* <shivers> I'm cold, can you get on top of me and keep me warm? (From Mary)

* Can I have your panties? You're so fine you make me wanna boil some water, put them through a wringer and make me a broth for dinner. (From STLTIGERBELL)

* "Hello, I'm RICH!" Followed by: "And my name is Jim." (From Clarence Mc)

* How about you come over here and sit on my lap. We can talk about the first thing that pops up. (From Julie)

* What's your name? (Girl says name) Oh, I thought it was Cambells 'cause you are mmm mmm good! (From Unknown)

* Do you have an angel inside of you (Girl says No) You want one? (From Unknown)

* Hey girl, can I be like Winnie the Pooh and get my head stuck in your honey pot? (From Safiya H)

* Hey baby, you are the door to heaven, can I stick my head in? (From Magikalmoondance)
* Do you have a quarter, I want to call your parents and thank them. (From Sandre Q)

* (The girl had been eatin a Blue Raspberry Blowpop) You look like you've been giving Papa Smurf a blow job. (From Sandre Q)

* If I could rewrite the alphabit I would put U and I side by side. (From Andrew K)

* I am priest, want a piece of divinity. (From Andrew K)

* Excuse me, what a beautiful smile. Your teeth are like the stars. Do they come out at night? (From XillestShortii)

* I'm a criminal put me in handcuffs. (From Secondaryl)

* (Spinning his thumb & pointer finger together in circular motions) Know what this is? The world's tiniest record player playing heartbeats for you. (From Bonnie M)

* Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cuz you sure raise a lot of cock! (From April; Sephie; Heather B)

* Is that shirt felt? Do you want it to be? (From April)

* I lost my virginity, can I have yours? (From Daniel B)

* Excuse me, are you from Tennessee, cause you the only 10 I see. (From Bessie)

* Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day... I'm only asking for one. (From Melissa B)

* Does your father work in produce? 'Cause you have nice melons. (From ONYXFARI)

* I know you're tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind all day (From Sassypunk; DivaBitch)

* If I ever saw you naked, a tear would drop down my eye, and I'd believe in heaven. (From Melissa R)

* Oh, so you're only half Irish? Want more in you? (From Christi)

* Hi my name is <name>, that's so you'll know what to scream tonight! (From AktjMiller)

* (To a waitress) Do you have take out? (Yes) Good! I'd like to take you out tonight. OR (no) It's a shame, because I would love to take you out tonight. (From AktjMiller)

* If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. (From Alexandriadora; Vicki H)

* What has two thumbs and likes blowjobs? (points thumbs at himself and says "This guy") (From Betsy M; Heather B)

* (Walks up to a girl and looks at the tag on her shirt.) I just wanted to see if you were made in heaven/100% angel. (From Betsy M; Maggie G; Thoacarter)

* Your body's an hour glass and I want to play in the sand. (From Lissette R)

* I have the F C & K, now all I need is U. (From Vicki H)

* Heaven must be missing an angel because you're right here baby. (From Dondelbuse)

* My friend over there wants to know if you think I'm cute. (From Druex F)

* If I had a body like yours, I'd burn mine. (From James L)

* Have you ever had an Austrailian kiss? It's like a French kiss only "down under." (From KatBeav)

* Can I Borrow a band aid? 'Cuz I hurt my knee when I fell for you. (From Maggie G)

* Are you Tired? (No Why) Because baby, you've been running around in my dreams all night long! (From Melysa)

* I am so hungry! Let's say I lay you down on this table and you can be my love buffet! (From Kristen C)

* I know I'm not the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. (From Michelle W; Whitney M)

* Your body's/thong's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. (From Whitney M; Lisa T)

* Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? (From Whitney M)

* Yo, Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way! (From Whitney M)

* I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. (From Whitney M)

* I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house? (From Whitney M)

* If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be the McGorgeous. (From Whitney M)

* You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light-switch away! (From Whitney M)

* Heaven must have lost an angel when you came along. (From Lisa T)

* Got me? I'll do your body good. (From Lisa T)

* If we were squirrles, could I put my nuts in your hole? (From Lisa T)

* Holy shit, are those real? (yes) I don't believe you, can I feel them? (From Lisa T)

* Women are like my computer, I know what to do to turn it on. (From Lisa T)

* (Licks your face) I'm a dog.. woof baby woof. (From Lisa T)

* You, me, and a video camera.. my place tonight. (From Lisa T)

* I heard the human body is made up of 75% water, and I'm feeling kind of thristy, baby!! (From jrpnewyork)

* I thought veryfine only came in a bottle. (From BThick)

* Is it me or are we gonna have sex tonite? (From BThick)

* I have a Masters Degree in kissing… I'm trying for my doctorate, would you help me study? (From Latrisha L)

* Did the sun just come out, or did you smile at me? (From Sophia)

* So, do you fool around? (From Mary M)

* If I die, I wanna come back as your pants so I can wear that ass out. (From MsAngel)

* I lost my number, can I get yours? (From Thoacarter)

* What walks like a god and winks? (winks) (From DivaBitch)

* I've got a nine inch tongue, and I can breathe through my ears. (From Fred H)

* I like every bone in your body, especially mine. (From Grace C)

* Man says ''Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?'' Girl turns round and says! "Damn, I wished for the wrong person." (From: Shed, UK)

* Guy: You look like my third wife. Girl: Really, how many times have you been married? Guy: Twice. (From: CharmedHeart13, MI)

* Hi! Wanna Fuck? (From: Paula, PA)

* Excuse me miss, can I cut in between you and the wall? (From: MaxRobes)

* Someone farted! Let's get out of here!" (From: Meg, Austria)

* How you doin'? (From: Liz, CA)

* Want to go back to my place and get high? No. Want to go get drunk? No. Want to go fuck? No. (From: Pamela, WV)

* Guy once told me he use to work for B2K and that he supposedly had a lot of money. (From: Shygirl)

* Guy: How about pizza and a fuck?
Girl: Umm, no.
Guy: Oh, you don't like pizza?! (From: Fed up with men, MA)

* If you were a booger I'd pick you first! (From: Fed up with Men, MA)

* Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you? Do you want one? (From: MINIME, IL)

* What shags like a tiger and winks? (Wink) (From: Danielle, NV)

* I've been in prison for the last 10 years and my P.O. won't give me any pointers on how to pick up chicks. (From: Danielle, NV)

* So, do you wanna get into trouble? By the way, my name's Trouble. (From: Danielle, NV)

* Well fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me. (From: Harmony, Australia)

* Hey baby, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? (From: Tonya, PA)

* "I'm an ugly dude right?" (From: Your Momma, TX)

* Hey do you believe in angels? (Yes, why?) Because I see one laying right next to me.(From: Marcella & Sabrina, NV)

* Nice legs... what time do they open? (From: Charlie, Switzerland)

" You are alright for a fat woman! (From: Charlie, Switzerland)

* Girl, you're the bomb, so get down and blow! (From: Mary M., IA)

* Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants! (From: Sandy, CA)

* Wanna try on my jacket? And by jacket I mean you and me having sex! (From: Jef N., Canada)

* Is that a wink I saw you give me or am I just really horny and too lazy to think of a good pick up line? (From: Jef N., Canada)

* I farted, wanna fuck? (From: Jef N., Canada)

* You and me are like peas and carrots, except these veggies fuck each other! (From: Jef N., Canada)

* I love you. (From: Jef N., Canada)

* Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (From :Mary Barbie, IA)

* (Guy) Wanna get pizza later?
(Girl) No.
(Guy) What about your friend?
(Girl) No.
(Guy) What about her friend? (From: Melissa, LA)

* Baby, how about you be my Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King and you treat me right and I'll do it your way. (From: Danielle M., Canada)

* Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? (From: Danielle M., Canada)

* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? (From: Danielle M., Canada)

* Do you sleep on your stomach? No, can I? (From: Danielle M., Canada)

* I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
(From: Danielle M., Canada)

* Hey! Do you want to play Pearl Harbor? It's where I lie down and you blow the hell out of me. (From: Mr. Feather, WA)

* (Puts his hand on your ass.) Oh, there was a bug on it. (From: Leirza, New Zealand)

* You are a lot prettier than my girlfriend. (From: Karla, MA)

* If you were a tear in my eye, I would never cry in fear of loosing you (From: Badbabe, Norway)

* This guy comes up to me at school and asks me how I'm doing. "I'm fine" I say and he replies: "I asked you how you were not how you look." (From: Badbabe, Norway)

* Hey, I know you from a previous life. (From: Jewels, TX)

* Let's play Titanic. I'll yell "iceberg" and you go down.(From: J-Dogg, MD)

* Are you a beer keg? Cuz I would love to tap that ass! (From: fook mi, AL)

* I'm picking up the pieces of my broken heart because you just stole my dreams away. (From: Josh H., OH)

* Staring directly down my shirt says, "Since I don't have tits can I play with yours?(From: Venus99, IL)

* Wanna play suck and blow? (From: Venus99, IL)

* Two pairs of tits are better than one. (From: Venus99, IL)

* Why don't you kiss my girlfriend? (From: Venus99, IL)

* One plus one plus one is three, can I watch you fuck her and then include me? (From: Venus99, IL)

* Can I take a picture of you naked and put it in my playboy magazine? (From: Venus99, IL)

* I'm not good at algebra does U + I = 69? (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Hey, you look like a young Mariah Carey. Seriously you do. Of course, I'll have to see you naked to be able to better compare you two. (From: Dee)

* Do you have a bandaid, cause I gotta cut? (From: Jhaye, GA)

* Hey, did you just fart? Because you blew me away! (From: Singrdiva25, FL)

* Girl you are so fine I'd drink a whole tub of your bath-water! (From: Cjeff)

* Baby, your daddy must be a thief 'cause he stole all the diamonds out of the sky
and put them in your eyes! (From: Cjeff)

* The man says "What's up?" and the female's response (she was obviously a foreigner) replied "Me no speaka english," the man then goes..."Baby, I speak all the languages!!"(From: Lena, MO)

* I've seen a lot of melons but yours are the biggest I've ever seen. Maybe, we could head to my place and I could see how big they really are. (From: Brittany, IL)

* Your pussy is like chicken from KFC. Finger lickin' good. (From: Wendaliah, MI)

* Have I seen you somewhere or met you 'cause you sure do look familiar. (From: Julie I., Australia)

* Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Myrtyl Jones?? (From: Hattiebubs, New Zealand)

* That T-shirt looks good on you. Do you think I'd look good on you too? (From: Hattiebubs, New Zealand)

* How do you like your eggs in the morning? (From: Hattiebubs, New Zealand)

* I noticed you noticing me, and I'd like to give you notice that I noticed you too. (From: Hattiebubs, New Zealand)

* Am I hot? Or is it you that sets my world on fire? (From: Hattiebubs, New Zealand)

* Did you grow up on a farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a good cock. (From: Heather S)

* What has two thumbs and likes blowjobs? This guy! (holds up thumbs) (From: Heather S)

* Hey baby, if I give you my number, will you put it in your pocket? (number is written on his hand) (From: Kim, MI)

* Have you ever been with an old man? Cuz I'm grey down there! (From: Amanda T., TX)

* Can I get up in them guts? (From: Kristi & Amanda, TX)

* Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag. (From: Stonerdog, New Zealand)

* Where do you live? Do you want a ride home? No? Can I have your number? (From: Aufseeser)

* Wanna party with us? We have eight inch cocks! (From: Aufseeser)

* We're doing something on MTV about spring vacation. (On a cheap home camera) What is the craziest thing you've done over spring vacation? Can we have your numbers? (From: Aufseeser)

* While walking, a guy walking in the opposite direction is sticking his thumb out, giving the "thumbs up", and smiling at me. I walk past him and he runs back to me and says, "Hey, you forgot to pick me up! (From: JB, Canada)

* Hi sexy? Do you believe in dreams? In my dream you and I was having some behind that pub over there. Wanna make it come true?(From: Bjorn B)

* Hey, my friend said you were looking for me. (looks at you) Sorry I didn't introduce myself, I'm Mr Right. (From: Saz)

* Have you got 50 cents, I wanna call heaven and tell God there's an angel missing. (From: Lorna H)

* Girl, you're so fine, you must be wearing a thong. (From: Lindsay M)

*I love every bone in your body, especially mine! (From: Brit, LA)

*Is your dad a terrorist, cause you are the bomb! (From: Tania, MA)

*Can I have your number? I´m writing a phonebook. OR Can I have your number? I lost mine. (From Nicky, Netherlands)

*How do you like your eggs in the morning? Cooked, scrambled or fertilized? (From Nicky; Jill)

*I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock! (From: Ali, MA)

*What are you doing tonight? Well, would you want to 'do something' sometime? You'll probably say no but oh well (frowning)! (From: Princess, WI)

* Do you sleep on your stomach....Can I? (From: Play Doe, TX)

* At college guy walks up to you on Valentine's Day- Would you like to be my valentine?(From: Dee, NY)

* Guy that lived down the hall from me in college freshman year: I'm a male prostitute. I'm half Chinese and half Russian so I have a big cock and women pay me to have sex with them. If you go out with me I'll give you anything you want. (From: Dee, NY)

* In a mosh pit last year: Any hot girls want to make out in the pit right now? (From: Dee, NY)

* In London: Ow your from Brooklyn, can I be part of your gang?(From: Dee, NY)

* You have a banging bum! (From: Dee, NY)

*Hey sexy...you want a Pepsi??? (From: Tara, NY)

*Damn! I love your parents! (Why?) Because they made you! (From: Trinabell, CA)

*Lets Fuck till the break of dawn cuz then it will be like the light is on. (From: Sloth, MA)

*Hi, I have a pickup line that was once said to me... My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. (From: Jess, NH)

*Hey, Do you wanna go camping with me? I've already pitched a tent! (From: little tiger eye, WA)

*Your the only one I want to be with. (From: Spikey, NY)

*Do you have a nice pussy? (From: Kay Babe)

*Are both your parents retards? Because, damn! You sure are "special!" (From: Angie)

*I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, can I interview you? (From: Laura, AZ)

*If they ever made "Pretty Woman 2" you should be the star! (From: Dee, RI)

* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U & I together. (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* Bey Haby, Fanna Wuck? (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me. (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* Whose bitch are you?(From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* All that ham, and me with no cheese. (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* Do you have any German (or whatever ethnicity) in you? (if the answer is no) Would you like some? (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

* My Mom says I am a great catch. (From: Heather Tonne, KS)

*Hey your family must own a juice company cause you are VERY FINE! (From: Peekaboo, MA)

*Your grass looks a little dry. want me to make it all wet for you? (From: Ann M, OH)

*My name might not be Elmo, but you can tickle me all night long. (From: Shae)

*Excuse me do you know where the stretchers are because I'm about to faint now I've seen you. (From: Nipplevick aka Nicola, UK)

*Excuse me....can I fall in love with you? Oh wait, I already did. (From: Twitch, TX)

*Fuck me if I am wrong, isn't your name Sara?(names can vary) Nice shoes. Wanna fuck? (From: Shi, OR)

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck? (From: Shi, OR)

Snappy Comebacks to Pathetic Pick-up Lines

* Stop talking now and I won't dig your eyes out of their sockets with this fork. (From: Micromachine)

* If the size of your brain is anything compared to the size of your dick I'd be better off solo. (From: Sungate)

* A guy says: "Wanna come back to mine and sit on my face?" You reply: "Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?" (From: Emmy, UK)

* What's your sign? A good come back is: it's big and red and says stop! (From: Lynzee)

* Guy: If I could change the alphabet, I'd put U and I closer together.
Girl: Why do that? N and O are already right next to each other! (From: Beppy,TX)

* Guy: Where were you girls been all our lives?
Girl: Waiting for you. We were born in this room. We grew up in this room.
And we're going to die in this room, alone. (From: Beppy,TX)

* He says: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
You say: Yes and that's why I don't go there anymore. (From: Hailey, Australia)

* I had a guy ask me online if I wore a "thong around the house." I just couldn't resist so I said, "depends". His reply was "on what?" I said "No I wear depends around the house." (From: Deb, AL)

* I was in a club one night and this guy said to me, "mmmm, mmm, mmm, I sure would like to get in your drawers." My response was, "What's wrong with yours' you shit in them?" (From: MysticCG, VA)

* Man: Haven't we met before? Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.(From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: So, wanna go back to my place? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? (From:Lamb21,CA)

* Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine. (From:Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Woman: It's in the phone book. Man: But I don't know your name. Woman: That's in the phone book too. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: What sign were you born under? Woman: No Parking. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized! (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks! (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy. Woman: You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane? (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I'd go through anything for you. Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account. (From: Lamb21, CA)

* Man: I'd love to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks, I already have one asshole in there already. (From: Lamb21, CA)